Yes even though I’ve moved an hour away, I still live in fear of every phone call yet am compelled to check in with her almost daily otherwise God knows what dastardly retribution is being thought up that will be worse. Unlike a spouse you can divorce you can’t always just disengage with family. If you stay in communication strategy is key. Plan: no interaction can be entered into without reminding yourself and steeling yourself for the various techniques that will be used against you. Anticipation is the answer always if you decide to have them remain in your life, it helps you steer the conversation and draw the sting when they ambush you anyway. Then: forgiveness, and constantly reminding yourself you’re good enough and putting the whole interaction into a trash can labeled “Mum’s bull crap” and giving it no importance whatsoever.
Thank you for writing about maternal narcissistic abuse, you’re an absolute star :)