Thank you for your honesty, warts and all. So forgive me interjecting on your private business, but it’s heartbreaking to hear you. By not leaving him you’re just cheating yourself. Sounds like you’re living half a life or less when you could be with someone who fulfills you. Don’t you deserve that? We don’t have long on this planet and we weren’t born to be miserable. Your kids will get over it and appreciate a happy mother and you can relax not having to lie and hide your true self pretending to find thrills with dishonest people who are just exploiting your vulnerability and putting you, your kids’ mother, at risk of all sorts. Don’t settle. You’re a sensitive soul so you’ll end up even more hurt and disappointed than you are now. You deserve better. Stop sacrificing yourself and selling yourself short. Audit your life and make the changes you know you have to, this is just a band aid on a gaping sore. Get it fixed and heal. Also sounds like your husband has early onset Alzheimer’s, maybe you should get him checked out. With the right person you will truly blossom and that’s the mother your kids deserve and the woman the planet needs you to be.