I went through similar and it’s been many painful lessons. You’re “in it” at the moment so probably not ready to hear that your freedom is your greatest asset. No money is worth a minute of distress. It’s his tool to torture you, take away that power. Yes fight with every ounce of energy for your just desserts but know in the end that the greatest gift you give your children is the example of a mother who stands up to controlling thieving terrifying bullies and is prepared to go the extra mile for their children always. There’s no downside you win either way. During my 7 year battle, I’ve learned to live on nothing, go without and it’s been liberating. Now he has nothing to hold over me and chase me for. I thought my kids would be disappointed but they appreciate me all the more as they see the reality of their father unfold before their grown-up eyes. We’re closer than ever and my life without someone else controlling me is a blessing money can’t buy I’m deliriously happy. But girl, on the way to that realization, cane his arse!!!!