Mother, author, poet, educator, escapee. Obsessed with finding ease in relationships, health, wellbeing and the juggling of life.

Hello Medium Siblings!

I hail from the United Kingdom as you’ll probably note from my weird spellings and quaint little phrases.

I write under a pseudonym because I run a few businesses and have a madcap family and psycho ex-husband, who while they are all wonderful inspiration for my tales and articles, would never be grateful to know that I let out all my frustrations and stress so freely and with such bare-knuckle honesty.

My goal on Medium is to help fellow…


Abuse by Proxy, Anticipation, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Apology

Hello! There’s so much to learn about narcissism that, for the moment you finally work out you’ve been a target, victimised and gaslit all this time, I’ve put together a quick reference glossary over a series of articles under each letter of the alphabet to help you understand and begin recovery.

Please note this is a glossary of terms with the briefest of explanations as a very rudimentary introduction to aspects of narcissism for victims who may be trying to understand how they may have been gaslit. They are general and…


One Day in the Life of Ivanka the Bitch

Chapter 1: Egg Stains

7.19 am — Breakfast Networking Interruptus

Shit, it’s Tit! What’s happened now? For fuck’s sake, I haven’t even got into work yet and my stomach’s already clenched like a vice. I’ll have to call her back.

Where the fuck are my antacids? I mean what kind of breakfast was that for £25? Bacon rolls, no butter? I’m going to be retching all day at this rate. Urrgh, I don’t care who sees me, I’m swiping another bucks fizz.

Right, come on, calm down, self-care, get the lansoprazole down you, that’s it…


Cognitive Dissonance and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)

Hello! There’s so much to learn about narcissism that, for the moment you finally work out you’ve been a target, victimised and gaslit all this time, I’ve put together a quick reference glossary over a series of articles under each letter of the alphabet to help you understand and begin recovery.

C is also for:

Cognitive Dissonance

I first came across the phenomenon of Cognitive Dissonance watching the film, about the film director Ed Wood. He made the worst horror pics ever and when his crew tried to suggest changing the God awful script, his celebrated reply was “What do you know? …


By J’Accuse! left-behind parent in paternal child abduction.

FAMILY COURT ON TRIAL: Part 3

From Abusive Spouse to Serial Plaintiff

When my abusive spouse began to maltreat our daughter, I thought I could protect her by divorcing him.

I did not have the language or concepts of malignant narcissism. I did not know that underneath his façade of basic normalcy, that’s whom we would now have business with.

I could not imagine in advance how manipulative, sadistic, and conscienceless he and his harem — his mommy, his sister, his girlfriend and her teenage daughter — would become toward our daughter.

I could not imagine in advance such extreme violations of a…


The Publication Dedicated To Trudging Through Times of Enormous Stress with You.

As the world opens up again after lockdown, things will most probably only get tougher for many of us, especially when the government aid runs out.

So we aim to send out some supportive stories, tips and revelations about the stress that we humans feel duty-bound to put ourselves through to walk by your side during the dark times.

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!

You will! You will get there. The ‘there’ may not be what you imagined or hoped for, but in the long run, you will see that it was better, it was what you needed, you just couldn’t see it at the time.

In the meantime, here’s an article about panic attacks…

https://medium.com/getting-through-it/my-panic-attack-survival-kit-aee22091b140


The Business of Misdirection Will Ruin Your Life

I wrote a heart-rending article before lockdown about failure, about how difficult our business environment had become for a variety of factors. My biggest company, my baby I’d sold my house to invest in was teetering on the edge of going through.

I'd got it all wrong. But at that time I believed…

It was a shit show and we were going down.

We had no money to pay the bills, people were chasing me to “bring our account up to date”, we couldn’t sell enough product because people were apparently panicking about Brexit and our suppliers couldn’t get the raw materials with the knock-on effects being that the sales…


Cutting the Ties that Bind

Mother left me her pinking shears. I say left, it could be argued that I tore them from her dying hands. I say dying, but we all know that’s just a very loose term for someone who’s given up. Like she always told me, and were in fact the last words on her lips, “don’t be so sensitive, it does you no good to take things so literally.”

I had a pattern in mind you see. A very distinct pattern. A pattern that would outdo, outmanoeuvre and outlive the most kinked mind that ever poisoned my will.


By J’Accuse! left-behind parent in paternal child abduction.

FAMILY COURT ON TRIAL: Part 2

The Nature of Abuse, Enmeshed Families, and Mama’s Boys

Every time you think a malignant narc has reached rock bottom, s/he goes lower while the abuse ratchets up and up and up.

Every time you think judges and evaluators have reached rock bottom, the court’s complicity in perpetuating child and spousal abuse ratchets up and up and up.

Domestic violence within the home may start out as passive aggression (neglect, the silent treatment, stonewalling, gaslighting) but always morphs into active aggression (name-calling, cursing, shaming, rage, threats) that sometimes includes physical violence and may culminate in intimate partner homicide (and worse).


By J’Accuse! left-behind parent in paternal child abduction.

FAMILY COURT ON TRIAL: Part 1

Why Talk About It?

Family Court is a business that gaslights as a justice system, which would be laughable if it were not so tragic for its victims.

Within the narcissistic abuse survivor community, till now most clinician-researchers and survivors have addressed personal betrayals by malignant narcs acting in their private (parental or spousal) capacity.

There now exist some (but not yet enough) voices exposing the family court for its systemic enabling of the narcissistically abusive spouse, systemic maltreatment of the targeted parent, and systemic betrayals of the children.

The court’s institutional betrayals are rarely…

Alexis Behrend

Mother, author, poet, educator, escapee. Obsessed with finding ease in relationships, health, wellbeing and the juggling of life. alexisbehrend.com

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